On the Wagon, Off the Wagon, On the Wagon……. THE SCARE

Well, it’s been a while…. a LONG while.  my life has changed but not 100% for the better.


Heres whats been happening…..

I lost weight, i gained it back, i lost weight, I gained it back….it brought a few friends…


THe last year or so has been tough,  I am really wanting to lose weight… I am not aiming at being a skinny guy, I am aiming to be a pudgy guy!  I have to admit weight watchers wasn’t working for “quick weight loss” but it WAS working at keeping me eating healthier and happier.  My problem is “little cheats” that add up to a BIG CHEAT and then I feel like a failure. I am not an idiot… I know that stopping for 2 Teen Burgers at A&W does NOT make a healthy lunch, and i tell myself that, right up until I place my order….  I know I should be eating the Spinach in the fridge with a low fat dressing, but those cheeze crunchits are soooo good…  It’s about willpower, not understanding.



Anyways, it all came to a head about 3 months back.  I woke up, and my left hand was asleep… it happens, you sleep on it,  it was mostly my thumb and a little of my first finger.  THen when i got up to make breakfast, I was chewing my cereal, and the left side of my mouth was asleep… that one was weird.  I became a little concerned… So I went to “Dr.Google” which generally equates to a crackpot doctor saying “You got a headache? might be cancer… or maybe poisonous spiders have started nesting in your ears”   I looked up the tests for a stroke… The FAST acronym, Face (i could smile and frown) Arms (no noticeable loss in arm strength) Speech (I was talking fine) and Time (get your ass to a hospital!)   Well since that didn’t seem to be it, I read about the onset of Diabetes,  I am a big guy,so the idea of being diabetic isn’t a huge shock to me… what i read was “eat some carbs, if it is an insulin issue, that might help”  I finished my bowl of cereal, grabbed a granola bar and a handful of chocolate chips (quick sugar/carb) and headed to work.   Got there, ate my granola bar, ate some chocolate and the numbness persisted.  After a few hours (yeah i know… hindsight)  My thumb and finger was now thumb and 2 fingers… and my numb mouth was getting worse, half my tongue was asleep.


FInally listening to the alarm bells in my head i decided to go to the walk in clinic near work… I had made a doctor’s appointment, but it wasn’t going to be for a day or 2, and I was getting worried…  this walk in clinic was usually pretty quick.


They are terrible… let me rephrase that, they CAN BE terrible….  I’ve gone to good ones and bad ones, but part of the problem is that the Secretary staff checking you in ISN’T A NURSE OR DOCTOR.  There is no triage, they don’t re-organize patients based on need. it’s first come first served.  which is fine for a runny nose, or a note for work, but in medical “situations” get your ass to the ER.. you might end up waiting a few hours if you need a little stitch or a doctor’s note (low priority) but if you have a serious issue they figure that out right away and you are put at the top of the list.


Anyways, the clinic was NOT fast this time, it was very slow… I waited 2 hours to see the doctor (During which time 4 drug reps had meetings with doctors in this clinic… time that could have been used to TREAT PEOPLE!)  the doctor sees me, looks me over and says it was a mistake to go there, I should probably have gone to a hospital, he didn’t take my blood pressure, didn’t ask me to smile frown look up or down or demonstrate hand strength… just “you should have gone to an ER, give them this note”  and off i went.  He asked how I was getting there, me in my denim with a motorcycle helmet in my hands… I told him I’d ride to which he responded “I don’t know if I recommend that”  I told him I had no other option.  He asked if I had any aspirin I said no he said if I had some i should take some. I said ok and i left…  I looked at the note, and it was messy gibberish but i eventually read “possible stroke” within its myriad of sloppy penmanship.  I figure “I read aspirin was good in these cases” and stopped in the grocery store (the clinic was attached to a Great Canadian Superstore) and bought some aspirin…  THen I drove home, and decided to shower and change before the doctor, no use sitting around a waiting room sweaty and messy.. FInally I took the TTC to the hospital.


I walked into emerg,  there was nobody there.

It was empty, 2 nurses, 1 other patient, if I had gone there I wouldn’t have waited a minute let alone 2 hours… grrrrr.


I talked to the nice nurse, she smiled, asked how I was doing, I told her I was a little numb on one side, she IMMEDIATELY had me look up, look down, smile, tested my strength, all while talking to me (stroke tests) and then took my blood pressure.



She calmly pointed out that i should go to the check in desk, and she would have a gurney ready for me AS SOON AS I WAS DONE.  I was like “ok, sure” went and checked in (which took less time than checking in at the Walk in clinic) and was ushered to Emergency care.  The Doctor on call came over and said they would be giving me a couple meds straight away. then i was told to lay down and be as calm as possible… the hooked me up to a whole bunch of machines and i was told “this will probably take at least a few days.. try to stay calm”  I was as calm as usual, I texted Cara, and let her know that I might not be home, and she should probably stop at home before coming to see me (hahaha riiiiight, she rushed over right after work)   THey tried a few meds, and I was told there was zero chance of this being a one night stay.   Cara hung out with me (she was very distraught, and spent every free moment going outside to update our families) and left later at night… I tried to sleep, but a busy emergency ward is not the most restful place for a snooze.  There are many stories, funny and sad about that night, but let’s just say it was not restful and leave it at that.


Next morning Cara showed up ,I was surprised, as I had told her to go to work, that I’d be ok… of course her employers were nice enough to say “GO BE WITH HIM” and gave her a taxi credit for a rush hour cab ride from uptown Toronto to Scarborough General!  She stopped at home and got me a pillow (wonderful lady) since they didn’t have them in the Emergency dept.  THey brought me for an echo cardiogram, and did a scan on my neck as well, then I had to go for a cat scan and finally i was brought to a regular room.  I was on a few meds now, and my blood pressure was still high, but not “OH MY GOD” high.  Cara had bought me a roast beef sandwich at the coffee shop downstairs, since it looked like I missed lunch (and breakfast) that day.  as I tried to eat it, I realized there were some lasting effects from my incident, left hand still numb, and my mouth and tongue were so numb it was really hard to eat the sandwich!  I couldn’t feel my tongue, and bit it a few times… also my taste buds must have stayed asleep because i could barely taste anything.  spent 2 more days in the hospital, they were very nice to me.



My mother always said to be nice to the nurses in hospital, and it’s something I have lived every time I have had a stay…  I see people treat doctors with such respect, and then yell at nurses for the smallest issue….  Look at it this way,  that doctor comes by your room what? two times a day? quick chat and gone….  THose nurses you are yelling at?  THey CONTROL YOUR LIFE… when you eat when you can get up, when you get medication…. THey are there all day and all night… and THAT’S who people choose to yell at????   Take my advice, be nice to your nurses, tell a joke if you are able, smile when you can, and say please and thank you… it leads to a much better stay.

Anyways, I got out of the hospital, figured “I’ve been in bed for 3 days, we can take the bus home, I don’t need a cab! and we can stop for groceries too!”  We made it to the grocery store  I got a few things and we went to the drug store to get my prescriptions, and I was ready to pass out!  Cara walked me home, sat me on the couch and went back for some lunch and my prescriptions. She truly is a wonderful woman… I am lucky to have her in my life.


So I was going to make this an EVEN LONGER post, but I think i need to break it up, nobody wants to read about my boring ass life for an hour at a time…  My next update will cover my recovery trials and tribulations and “THE COMING SHIFT” oooooOoOoooooooOOO!



(Quick note, this one is all about bikes)

So, I was a little depressed this morning, and on the subject of things being “DOWN”….

Leaving work, I stopped at the grocery store, I was using up some of my Overtime from last week to relax a bit and get the last grip of the cold/flu out of my system with a nice afternoon nap…  Anyways, I was heading home, down Kennedy road, with a bag of groceries stuffed into my jacket, as I had forgotten my backpack at work.  At one of the side streets north of my house, I saw a guy with a very nice Yamaha YZF R1 motorcycle…


He was desperately trying to wave down traffic, the bike being on its side.  Being a fellow rider, and thinking he might be in SERIOUS trouble, I did a U-turn and pulled up beside him.  He seemed ok, a little shaken… he kept saying he got his foot caught,  “I catch my foot, I catch my foot”  Now, i looked this kid over, he seemed late teens, sleight of build, a very nice helmet, and wearing jeans and a t-shirt, with a pair of sandals….  I am not a “RIDERS MUST WEAR LEATHER” sort of guy, it isn’t always practical… but I do believe that good athletic shoes and a jean jacket are the bare minimum… otherwise, you’ll leave a nasty “Skid trail” should you lay down your bike.


So the first thing to hit me… This kid weighs in at 150 pounds soaking wet, maybe including his riding gear….  He CAN’T lift his bike!!!  Laying a bike down is a no-no… and it’s not something you WANT to do, but i firmly believe if you can’t pick it back up, you have no business riding it in the first place.  He obviously has been trying to stand the bike up and can’t.  I reach down and grab the bars and pick it up, It was heavy to be sure, but I was on the wrong side, pulling it up instead of pushing, and I managed to do it no problem… of course i am almost triple his size lol


So, next he comes over and sits on it, taking it from my hands, he doesn’t put it on the kickstand, he sits on it and leans over to look at the damage!!!  Again, he is still on a side street, luckily nobody was coming up behind him… he keeps mumbling about the paint, as there are a few scratches on the side that hit the curb…  The overflow tube from his engine is spitting out gas, but that’s fine, I can’t really look at the far side of the bike too well. it’s got a few scratches, and the brake pedal is a little bent up, but seemed to be still in a “usable” position.  I recommended he push it up to Snow City Cycle, since we were less than a block away, he mumbled something, pushed the starter a few times  and it sprang to life, albeit a little lumpy sounding.  He thanked me and said something like “I shouldn’t be driving close to the side, I am too new…. I have fallen many times this spring, but i can usually stop myself and not scrape the bike…”  I told him that he should be wearing running shoes or boots instead of sandals, he thanked me again, and pulled away, looking VERY unsteady…


Looking at the situation, he was an improperly dressed and trained beginner rider.  He caught his sandal while getting ready to make a stop, and fell over.  I’ll say it could happen to anyone… anyone as unprepared as this poor kid. He has fallen “Many times”????  Truthfully i ditched once, early on… on a dirt road, in a pothole filled with gravel… at low-speed, it hurt like hell, did a couple of bucks in damage, and cost my room-mate his denim coat (Sorry Gerk!)  that was on my first bike, an inexpensive (cheapest i could find) 750 that was 20+ years old when i got it.  It was still fast as “greased weasel snot” and i drove it too fast for my own good.  When I DID have an accident, it was due to another driver not watching the road, and i was driving like a normal person, but it still messed me up pretty bad.  THis kid will be lucky to survive his summer at the rate he is going at.  Here he is, an amateur driver, unsure of himself, riding a $13.000 sportbike, that has double the horsepower of my bike, and has a top speed of almost 300 KMPH  His bike will hit 100 kmph in just about 3 seconds.  The gyroscope effect of the wheels will keep him upright at speed, but its obvious it is WAY too much bike for him to handle… at his weight, a 500cc bike, half the displacement of his current bike, would easily propel him at double the listed speed anywhere in Ontario… but he has a R1 cause it is cool and the “it bike” for young boys riding too fast.  It’s a north american thing, you gotta have the “COOLEST FASTEST BIGGEST” bike/car.  My bike, an 800cc cruiser can EASILY hit 160 kmph with my 400+ pounds and travel gear for a week…  with him on it, my bike would probably hit 180!  but it isn’t cool/fast.  Honda has recently started pushing “entry level” sportbikes for the north american market, they don’t seem to be doing too well…    They sell a 250cc sport bike that will (with a little gentle pushing) hit 200 KMPH…  Still fast enough that the OPP will have to work to catch you and take your license away forever… These smaller displacement bikes are HUGE in europe, where the cost of operation/price/performance demands something inexpensive and fast, just here in North america, if it isn’t WAY too overpowered, it’s crap.  Hell if this kid had a $4000 CBR250R, not only would it be less of a big deal if he scratched it, he would have been able to pick it up himself (about 200 pounds lighter wet weight)

I think i understand the insurance companies now… At least when it comes to bikes.  Bike rates are all about how old you are and how big the bike is…  I paid $1800 to insure my first bike, in my early 20’s  it was a 750, and quick… and i was young.  THis year my insurance is going to be $600 for an 800…  as I draw closer to 40 it drops a little more, before stopping somewhere in the range of $400 per year.  As a kid, I was always mad about that, My Dad paid NOTHING for insurance on his 750, and there i was paying almost $2000  Of course, He took it out on nice days, rode around, visited friends and put it away, and I rode rain/shine/sleet/snow and honestly DID double the speed limit at times… as I have “Matured” (ahem, gotten OLD) I no longer feel the need to drive like a maniac.  there is nowhere I need to get to that demands me to drive all that fast.


So there we have it, I did my “good deed” for the day, and I get to be self-righteous, which is almost as good!!!!


Ride safe fellow bikers.


Continue reading


Feeling a little down today,


I’ve been sick (finally clearing up) and tired (Sleeping VERY early at night) and just generally worn out for a week or so.


I think today it just sort of came to a head.  A pissy email from head office that added to the fire, a crappy jam/meeting last night, that left me thinking “why” and just the general strep throat/flu that I have been fighting for a week.working a 6 day week with over 10 hours OT last week didn’t help in the slightest.  I need a vacation, I need to sit on a lawn chair, with a book, in the north.  I need to be away from the city and the noise and the crap.  Living in the city is essential for my career, but it slowly and surely eats into my soul.  I need to sit in the shade, watch a Manitoulin sunset and just let go of all this crap.

I need to see some natural beauty, I need to walk in the woods, along a path….   even if it’s a path that hundreds have walked down before.  Sometimes the city just seems to close in on me.

I know what this is, it’s my old friend “Depression” leaning in for a little “hello!”  Part of quitting the big dose of antidepressants that I was on was learning how to deal with this sort of crap on my own.  I normally do pretty well, it’s just that it all landed on me at once, crap at work, crap at play and crap in my lungs (Strep+flu=yuck.)

So it’s back home early today, a nap, a nice dinner with my Bug, and  probably very early to bed again…. I just want to be done with all this sick stuff before I go home for a week. 7 days and counting until vacation.


Just alerted by a co-worker that it was a full moon last night as well, maybe that had something to do with it????



If you can’t take the heat……






So, last night I decided to make a “special” dinner… Special sort of like “Retarded”  We had discussed this “idea” inspired by KFC bringing the Doubledown back to Canada.  They reduced the sodium down to 1500 mg in the new version, so it is WAY more healthy lol!

There it is, a heart attack waiting to happen.  2 Deep Fried, steroid injected chicken breasts, 2 slices of HEAVILY processed cheeze (with a z on purpose… no real cheese involved) and some even LESS natural “CHEEZE SAUZE” and a few slices of salty fatty bacon….  I have had one or 2… and they are certainly “tasty” but not a healthy snack.  We joked about making a “healthier” version…

So there is my “healthier” version…  It IS big, but it’s for 2 people so don’t get your panties in a bunch!

2 chicken breasts, flattened out, soaked in egg white and a little skim milk, then breaded with bread crumbs (no double dipped thick breading)  there is a little parmesan in with the crumbs.

Saute’d  in a little virgin olive oil (very little to how you would normally cook essentially Chicken Parmesan)  after it was cooked, it went in the oven to stay warm.  I then cooked/saute’d 4 slices of paper-thin prosciutto, literally you could see through it.  4 slices were like 35 grams!  one breast on the bottom, a sprinkling of parmesan cheese (about 1/4 cup) the prosciutto, and then another sprinkling of parmesan…


The end result was pretty tasty!  sort of “Italian Inspired” doubledown. but a TONNE less salt… and probably half the fat, and no weird preservatives.  I paired it with an attempt at Alton Brown’s “1 minute Eggplant Parmesan” (a lower calorie/fat variant at least)  it was less tasty, but probably because I don’t like eggplant much… I was trying to trick my into thinking it was awesome!  Cara seemed to like it, so it couldn’t have been terrible.  Also had a little salad.

Anyways, enough of “Recipe Talk”


I cooked and I cooked and I cooked some more, and then



Apparently, picking a blisteringly hot afternoon to be in the kitchen cooking up a variety of healthier choices foods isn’t good.


Now on to the sexist stuff.

I think I know why women “Belong in the kitchen”  don’t get me wrong, I have never thought nor believed that, until now.  Women can do anything they want, but I think I understand why the usual situation, especially in North America, has women cooking in the kitchen, and men drinking beer beside a BBQ…  for the most part…


Women are multitaskers.  That’s the way nature designed them.  wonderful brains that can list and organize and file things by matter of importance. thus, being in a kitchen with 3 pans going, listening to how bad their partner’s day was and (sometimes) making a quick snack for the kids.

MEN are UNITASKERS!!!!!  That’s why we sit in front of the BBQ until it is hot enough, put the meat on, watch the meat, take it off.  Give the average man a variety of things to BBQ and it all goes to shit.  Even cooking steaks, if I get a few requests for rare/medium/chicago style, I get confused! (Sorry Dennis clan, Last time I BBQ’d with Ben, you all got the “RARE” end of the stick! “mmmm rare……”   I will do better next time!)  I try to defy my unitasker core, but when I get in the kitchen, with chicken crisping in the oven, and a pan of eggplant parmesan cooking, I get frazzled sometimes.  I think that’s why single men eat so much crap food, at least of my generation.  Boil a couple of hot dogs, add bun, dinner… even though I can cook, my dinners were always single dish affairs, and mostly were MEAT+STARCH with a few veggies thrown in for effect more than health.

Anyways, the sickness coupled with the heat, I was just WORN OUT by the time we had eaten dinner and watched an episode of X-files! I went to bed and slept 9 hours.



I think I do better than many men, at least kitchen-wise and hopefully in a generation or 2. Men will catch up on the multitasking front, and Women will have to find some other way to be better than us.

So final tally,



NET RESULT:-999999999


I’ll try it again, maybe a grilled version… it would end up being even lower in fat/calories, and I could focus on JUST THAT!


And here, my troubles begin!!!

A little off the normal  topic, This is a computer rant, I will not hold it against anyone who just goes “ahhhh” and goes back to watching kitty videos on Youtube.

I am SICK of windows.

Well, not THOSE types of windows…. WINDOWS!

Yes…. THAT one….

I was a dyed in the wool Mac user for many years.  I was a  bit of a Mac evangelist, preaching to all who would hear about how much easier they were to work with…. Then Steve Jobs Ticked me off…

I believe it was the first generation Powermac G4.  I had needed a new computer, and of course wanted a new mac… SO, I did my research, and looked at my pitiful, pitiful budget, and went with the entry-level model… my reasoning was, it was all I could afford!!! PLUS they had just switched to Zif socketed chips, so the idea was i bought my 350 mhz machine (LOL!!!) and I could upgrade to a more powerful processor (maybe a 500mhz! maybe one of them new fangled DUAL CORES!)  I was VERY excited… which was short-lived.  My new computer had some issues running the software i needed it to run. and the “Easy to replace Zif chips” never materialized… they eventually did, but very slowly, and at nowhere near the current CPU speeds… WHen 1 ghz became the new “entry model” I believe i was finally able to bump up from 350mhz to 450mhz.   A buddy built me my first windows PC, and my mac became a footstool, until i sold it a year later.  This led me to begin my path with windows.  Steve jobs said in an interview that he considered a computer to be like an appliance… you don’t upgrade your toaster, why would you upgrade your mac???  That cemented it, Mac was my past, Microsoft was my future.

I eventually wanted “more power” and started on the “custom-built PC” path.  I built a new one for me, and one for my brother, and a few for his friends…  by the time i had built all theirs, i was getting quite good at it!  as my finances improved over the years, I built better and better systems., problem was, Microsoft was trying to undo all my hard work.
Windows XP was their “new O/S for the new millennium” or some such crap.  It was a well-built, and functional OS.  it had a few versions depending if you wanted to use it for media or for home use or business…. it was ok, and stable for the most part. but as it got old, it started showing cracks… so they came out with Vista…. a newer operating system for a Newer millenium…. which was never the tag line, but come on….  Anyways, it has (I am guessing here) about 742 versions… whether you are a home, or business, or pro user, do you want it for media? Do you want fries with that???  All options that apparently demanded a new version.  It didn’t bother me at first.  I bought a new version of windows and went to install it into my latest hardcore rig (I built VERY powerful systems, with the plan to do music production, and  usually did nothing but play games.)  Anywhoo, I went to install it, and… I couldn’t.  My system used a Raid Array for its system disk (very fast for any non computer types who stuck in this far) and the version i got was not “Raid installable” so I had to go and buy ANOTHER version!  installed it, and it ran like a lame antelope from day 1.  I actually TRIED to do music stuff with it, but sadly, it was not to be. it wouldn’t recognize my fire wire interface or anything i tried… so it became a game machine… it needed constant updating to try to correct OS problems, it was a turd.  FINALLY windows smartened up and created windows 7, THIS was going to be sooo much easier!!!!  I re-built my latest insanely powerful computer and installed 7, which i am using now…   It’s slightly better… it’s not “as shitty” as Vista, but already 1 year in, the cracks are showing.  They tried to polish a turd, and do you know what you get when you polish a turd??? you get dirty.  I am getting weird errors, problems running software, problems with standard hardware… all of it on a fresh install on a fresh SSD, less than 5 months in.

Yesterday was the end… I tried to print a set list for the band I am in.  one page, 15 lines… My printer is a pile of crap as well… HP C4780 is shit.  I paid very little for it, and it has a gazillion features… but as i say with guitars, features cost money, the more features, the lower quality the core product is… I should have followed my own advice….  A printer/Scanner/Copier with wireless for less than replacement ink costs???? of COURSE it was crap!  anyways, it sucked from day 1, but yesterday it REALLY sucked… then my computer sucked too! it wouldn’t stop jobs, it started screwing up, getting weird error messages…  I punched the printer a few times (not recommended in the manual) and yelled at my computer.  Sent Cara an email via my Iphone, since it still works GREAT!!!  she called me and calmed me down…

This morning I installed Safari on my computer, which alleviated my weird internet problems, I guess Firefox went postal. it no longer works.  Otherwise i wouldn’t be writing this in my office.  I’d be writing it on my Home Theater computer… A MAC!!!!

I replaced a dying Vista machine that ran my home theater system with a Mac Mini.


Teeny tiny, energy sipping Mac Mini… the computer that it replaced used about 6 times the power to do the same job.  The mac mini has been running for the better part of a year… 24/7/365  no stops, no breaks. downloading TONNES of crap, watching movies, surfing, doing a little music production, playing a few cheesy games… it has crashed ONCE.  the only issues i have with it are user issues, since am constantly switching between mac and pc.  My office computer, by comparison, crashes about once a week… and has a slew of other problems.

Heres the bottom line.  It’s an unfair fight.  Windows is ALWAYS going to lose.  Windows has to work with 3-4 families of processor chips, about 30 discrete chipsets, from 10+ manufacturers… they have to be compatible with internal components from HUNDREDS of suppliers, each one critical to the operation of their Operating System.   Apple, only uses one Processor family, One chipset at a time for the most part, and since they are the only ones who build Apple computers, they pick components that are the most compatible.  When they come out with a new version of their operating system ($29 for snow leopard vs around $150 for a retail copy of windows lite/basic/home) they sometimes decide that older computers are going to have issues, and just cut them off… they can use the version they are running, but can’t upgrade any further, which is a pisser if you have an older computer and want to run the new software, but 9 times out of ten you don’t have enough power to run it anyways.  By keeping the hardware strictly controlled, Apple has made its OS fight WAY simpler!  I tried to build my big pc into a Hackintosh before i tried win 7….  A “Hackintosh” is using workarounds to get apples Operating System to run on a windows machine…  It failed MISERABLY!  Again, the Hackintosh guys are all hardcore for it, and there ARE times it will work pretty well, but the problem is that you end up using a tonne of workarounds to get the system to work, and if one little piece gets iffy, it pulls down the whole system, leaving you to re-install and reconfigure…

After years of “wrenching” I am finally to the point that I don’t think i will build any more PCs.  The cost/performance curve was slipping before the latest offerings.  A legal copy of windows, even a white box copy, ends up costing $100… which eats up the savings of building your own computer.  THe only advantage is, you get to know the ingredients.  I know if i build my own computer, I am using a high quality motherboard, good ram, and excellent quality components… sadly, using high quality parts eliminates any savings entirely.

And to be honest, Computers are getting so powerful that I don’t need a “SUPER COMPUTER” anymore.  most of my time is spent watching videos, surfing and emailing…  none of which requires a powerful system.  Even if i get into music work again, even an entry-level Imac is more than capable to do a simple 8-10 track recording session.  I am also a little older and more mature and don’t get any sense of pride from saying “I have a quad-core, with 12 gigs of ram, running on a SSD!!! BOOYAH!”  I rarely added the BOOYAH at the end, but it make sit sound slightly less pathetic.

I give up, Steve Jobs was right all along, My computer is my toaster, and I should just plug it in and use it.  I am seriously considering rejoining the mac fold… if they’ll have me.

The dust settles….

So, it’s done.

My birthday turned out pretty damn good!  Had some Bacon and Eggs for my birthday breakfast with some OJ (A breakfast i love, but has pretty much been relegated to “special event breakfast”)  Had a chat with my mom. as  was on my way downtown, it threw my timing off a little bit, so i couldn’t go hang out at the comic/music store.  Instead i chilled out downtown, met up with my lovely Cara for dinner at Lonestar (and a suitably MASSIVE Margarita) then we went to see “The Lion King” which was great as well.  we had great seats, lots of leg room and an awesome view!  Saturday we hung out downtown, did a little shopping, I got my Burrito at Chipotles, Cara got me a 6 pack of INSANELY good cupcakes (with 2 “spare” cupcakes, since we needed 2 of her favorites….)  we ended up eating THOSE in the park near her old apartment. wandered back up to the Granite Pub, for dinner and a fine selection of beers and food…. a great time was had, some lovely gifts from some lovely friends.. Hell, even the Bar bought me a nice sized tequila (a double! DANGIT!)


Sunday we put together furniture at the house, Ikea stuff takes SOOOOOo long to put together! but since I had done the same dresser in the past, it was pretty simple to put together, just a little longer than I preferred to spend on the living room floor surrounded by screws and small bits of wood.


So overall, it was a great day, a great weekend and I feel re-invigorated.




The Day after the Day after Next

Or, Friday….

So my birthday is coming up.  Everyone who reads this blog probably knows that, no shocking revelations there.  just musing out loud about it this year…. I figure writing it down might give me inspiration on what to do.  I think I touched back in an earlier blog that I skipped my birthday last year… if not, I did.  I was in a pretty bad place, both mentally and situationally… I think the ex took me to Ted’s in the Shwa, she needed to go near there shopping, and we were thinking “yeah, we could maybe be friends”  it wasn’t good…  hell my Monster in law was with us!  (my ex’s mother HATED me!)  THat was really a week before my birthday, and I paid for my own meal, so I guess my birthday was a ride to the shwa….   when the actual day DID roll around, I think I worked it, went home and made a burger.

Thing is, I didn’t miss it that much, and as this year’s birthday roll around, I am just not feeling it.  no anticipation, no excitement about planning a night out with the guys/gals… nothing.  It’s just another day.  Cara is taking me to see the Lion King, THAT I am looking forward to, but more as a night out than as a “birthday event”  I’ve been trying to work out a night to go and grab a few beers, but as the weekend approaches, I am getting past the point of “GOtta give me notice buddy!” and onto “I already have plans” territory.  I have never been one for big social gatherings, I like my parties small, manageable and quiet for the most part… but I am just not sure I am wanting one any more.  It’s not about my age, I don’t dread getting older, I just don’t seem to care either way.

I realize this post is getting to be a downer, that isn’t my goal here… I am not trying to drum up a pity party or anything, I just am not feeling anything regarding my birthday… so I don’t know what will be happening.  on the day itself I am staying home from work, already planned, and going to the aforementioned lovely evening with Cara… but otherwise, I just feel kind of… meh.  It really hit home when Cara asked what kind of cake I wanted… and I can’t really commit to wanting one.  Used to be I would go to Loblaws, look at the silly cakes they had available for kids birthdays, order an annoying one, ask for ugly icing colors (Bright orange!) and have a vanilla sheet cake with vanilla icing madness!!!!  That sounds tasty of course, but this year I am just kind of numb to the idea…

So end result, I am going to plan something small, with a few people i like to hang with.  Maybe head down to Chipotle’s grab a Burrito and have a few beers at the granite.